If it seems the past few weeks of 2025 have flown by, you’re not alone, and Christmas is upon us, and next week brings the New Year.

The holiday season can be especially busy with many extra events on everyone’s schedules. This week, I want to remind you that whatever your personal preferences and beliefs are, you can enjoy each day.

In my last column, I wrote about empowering yourself to say yes and no mindfully. The ability to do so is significantly improved by taking time to identify and honor your own values and morals.

To help you clarify and prioritize your values, try the following exercise:

  • Write two lists. In one column, list your values, and in another column, list your morals.  Your values are the things that you personally believe are important, desirable, or useful and are linked to the ideals that guide you. Morals are tied to standards of behavior concerning what you believe are and are not acceptable ways of being.
  • Rank both lists in order of importance. Number them from 1, being your top priority, to 10, or however many you have listed. Ranking your lists can be surprisingly challenging, but resist the temptation to lump things together.

What do you notice in your lists? What stands out when you look at how you prioritized them?

Now, examine your day-to-day structure and choices. When you find yourself torn about what to do, filter your options through your lists. At the end of the day, if you can look back and know that you made choices in alignment with your personal values and morals, you will be more at peace.

Since we don’t live in a vacuum, the next thing to consider is how to navigate relational strain when values and morals are in conflict. Perhaps you have a loved one with whom you share similar beliefs, but you still find yourselves arguing.  

For example, while it may be true that you both share a value of being financially responsible, there may be a discrepancy in where that value is ranked. One of you may have ranked financial responsibility high on the list, while the other has it lower.

Identifying this difference in prioritization can help you gain a deeper understanding of why your partner thinks the way they do, and then have a more meaningful conversation about how to move forward. Pay attention to any “should” narratives you might have about your own and the other person’s priorities. Communication is about hearing each other, not trying to convince the other person that you’re right. Whenever you find yourself “shoulding” on yourself or someone else, pull it back. You’ll just end up with a smelly mess to clean up later.

Another topic to consider is grief. This is the time of year when the past can feel very present. Memories, both happy and painful, get triggered. It’s important to find ways to honor yourself and your memories. Take time to deliberately check in with yourself about what this time of year brings up. Is there something that you could do to honor your heritage? Making a family recipe, telling generational stories, or volunteering at a meaningful charity are just a few ideas.

If your history includes difficult experiences, look back gently and with support. Make sure, too, to pull up positive memories while also working to make this season, this day, as positive as you can.

Today’s choices equal tomorrow’s memories. You are, right this moment, creating the narrative that you and those around you will hold moving forward. Imagine how you would want to be remembered in the future, and then live the life today that will help bring that vision to reality.

Pay attention to the short- and long-term outcomes of your choices. The urges to overeat, drink, spend, promise, etc. can be overpowering. Think just for a few minutes about how the ripples of today’s actions will show up.

Sarah Hills, LPC, CAS, CAI, has a master’s degree in community counseling and the certification required by the state of Colorado as a certified addictions specialist at the supervisory level. She is also a certified ARISE® Interventionist. She is office-based in Estes Park and can be reached by phone at 720-250-6610. Click here to review her website.