Words are powerful, flexible, variable little nuggets. We use them to attempt to share ideas and opinions and lessons.
How a listener or reader interprets spoken or written words can be very different from the speaker’s or writer’s intended meaning. Perception can be affected deliberately: Some choose not to hear, or to immediately deny, what doesn’t fit their beliefs and opinions.
Small changes in your choice of words or delivery can greatly affect how your statement is perceived, for better or worse. One can also make deliberate changes when quoting a speaker to cast the speaker in a different light (for better or worse) than when the speaker said the original words.
If you’re the speaker, you know what you intend to say. Your choice of words, your tone & inflection, your body/facial language, and your emotion, all can affect whether the listener will understand. But – it takes two to tango. The listener has a responsibility to actively listen to get your meaning.
It’s not always easy to set aside personal history, upbringing, programming, and belief systems. These factors can create filters and impediments to open communication.
We use words to attempt to influence others. A series of speakers spoke to Attorney General Phil Weiser about the pending UCHealth acquisition of Estes Park Health. Each speaker attempted to influence him. I spoke in favor of the acquisition. Get it done now – who knows when/if there will be another opportunity?
I also told the A.G. later that I will actively advocate for an operating board that fairly represents Estes. That was one of two or three big concerns in the room, making sure that we will have sufficient voice in that board. I will use my influence to try to make that happen.
We use words to praise. I don’t manufacture praise; it must come spontaneously from the heart. Some very praiseworthy people:
- Eli Ertl, Brian Berg, and the grounds crew for making our town so beautiful with the flowers, expert arborist work, and more.
- The Salud Foundation, leadership, and donors for helping extend through at least one more fiscal year.
- The Estes Recycling Committee for their dedication, including the Aug. 9 Estes Recycles Day. Keep Estes Beautiful? They are doing real work to make that happen.
- The nurses, techs, support teams, physicians, and all who continue to provide compassionate care at EPH, regardless of all the extracurricular stuff swirling about.
- Our employed and volunteer firefighters have been instrumental in turning recent potential big problems into quickly snuffed issues.
As mayor, I don’t expect privacy for my words. I feel that every comment I make, public or private, in my capacity as mayor, must be honest and consistent. Anything I say privately can easily become public. I’ll continue to strive to be consistent in my message, in open forums and behind closed doors.
Using words or tones that are ambiguous, flippant, or facetious isn’t appropriate for a mayor. “Corporate speak” is certainly off-limits; it’s a transparent attempt to fluff over issues.
Many people have what I call a “crystallized” set of beliefs and opinions. They’ve decided how they feel about all things, and they become immovable. I contend that a person can have strong beliefs and still be a great listener to alternate viewpoints.
Citizens who write letters to the Town Board or who come to speak at our meetings hope to influence the board toward a certain decision. We owe a fair listen to all of them. Some of my decisions have absolutely been impacted by public comments. It’s not the volume of comments, it’s the insights presented by these people that often helps me adjust and balance my thinking.
Some use angry words, some offer insults or accusations of misbehavior. “What’s happening in the backrooms? Who’s getting paid under the table?” They might exaggerate circumstances to make their case. They might use satirical nicknames to attack others. This is far too common in today’s society, and I generally don’t respond to the items that arise from deep negativity.
As public officials, the trustees and I hear it all. There are also words of praise and thanks and grateful comments. And we appreciate those as well. Most important are the many opinions and ideas, presented in civil methods to help us weigh issues and make decisions.
Bottom line? Your choice and use words are critical to open dialogue. Using the right words and reasonable tones in every communication, including in Town business, gives us the best chance to overcome differences, to collaborate, and to take Estes to the future. And listening? That’s the secret sauce.